Confused !!!!

Hey,,, its been quite some time now that i put my thoughts to words and expressed what i felt.

But I am faced with a dilemma of how and what to write as i am confused. Well, confused about where i am , and what i am doing. Well, i read somewhere that whenever you are confused write down what you are confused about and your confusion will become defined as a problem for which you can find a solution. So this brings me back to my writing pad. I miss writing ,,, i miss expressing,,, i miss my words . It feels like i haven't really let myself out of the inner closet for the fear that my opinions and belief's may be judged wrong and misinterpreted, for the baseless excuses that i satisfy myself with of not having enough time to write down what i feel. Well, since i am here, i really dont know whether i should express my confusion or just go with the flow of my thoughts as i enjoy the pleasure of spontanity more than expression of my confusion.

Well, hows my life going is a question i ask myself a lot.... And the truth is i am waiting for things to become right, hoping for something great and recuperating from the loses i have suffered. But my patience is running out. I have always been the one who has been incharge of my own life. Never left anything to get sorted in course of time. But i am here waiting for time to go my way and take its course. And its annoying me. I want to pull the strings but feel as if i am not in the driving seat. I m not driving my life. I am not in control. I am being driven by circumstances but instead i want to create my own circumstances. The only thought that i pacify myself with is that patience bears sweet fruit. But then again. I guess sooner or later i am going to run out of patience and lose it.

I dont know what i have written. But needed to write something, not to make any sense but to just clear my mind. Well, its still not clear but i needed to do this... Hope to be back again soon....